BE who you BE

Today while working on a paper, I’ve spent some time reflecting upon past years. There are parts of me that feel remorse that I wasn’t enough – I didn’t do enough good, I didn’t stand up for what was right enough, etc…I could go on forever. Growing up, I was conditioned to believe that in order to BE a “good person”, you must DO what a “good person” does. Obviously, I never did enough “good person” stuff because I was frequently beating myself up and expecting more from myself.

About three years ago, a close friend and mentor told me something that changed my life. She said, “Brittni, it’s not about DOING all these “good person” things, it’s about BEING the good person that you already are.” Her words sunk deep in my heart, but it’s taken me a while to truly understand and embody them.

When you are surrounded by incredible people who are doing incredible things, it’s really easy to judge yourself and feel inadequate. It’s also really easy to want to create a check-list that basically says, I need to become this, this, and this before I am good enough. I’ve come to find that this pattern actually leads to a vicious, never-ending cycle. It is all very sub-conscious of course, because in my conscious mind I recognize that I am imperfect. However, I often still slip into a pattern that expects perfection from myself – without even realizing it. Does this sound familiar to anyone? I think that a lot of people have a tendency to slip into this pattern without even realizing it as well. It’s great to want to become better, but to what end?

Praise the Lord! There is hope – not only because we can call upon His grace to make up the difference where we fall short, but He is also there to walk us along an individualized journey to embody the innately good person we already are. What a beautiful gift!

Over the past few years, it’s been really difficult for me to shift my focus from DOING to BEING. It requires honoring yourself from within. And the hardest part, for me a least, is letting go of all the external pressure to do what everyone else deems “honorable” and “good”. However, I no longer live my life to measure up to other’s expectations for me. I live my life to BE the person that only The Good Lord knows I can BE. This road is not lined with awards, credentials, or degrees – but it’s lined with inner contentment and peace. I know that a lot of people have a hard time accepting the unique way I live my life because it’s off the beaten path. But, that doesn’t seem to bug me anymore because I know that God is guiding my choices and He accepts me. His peaceful reassurance is all I need to keep BEING who I BE.